Monday, September 18, 2006

Amazing Grace

The best comedy on TV?

No, it's not MAD TV.

No, it's not Saturday Night Live.

No, it's not the Colbert Report, or the Daily Show.

It's the Nancy Grace Show on CNN!!!

I used to really like Nancy Grace. When she was living in Atlanta, and working for the District Attorney's office in Fulton County, she was an advocate for victim's rights and seemed to be a shining star here.

She was just what we all needed during the joke that was the OJ Simpson trial. Brash, intelligent and able to connect with the audience. Everything would have been fine had she just gone back to her work in Atlanta.

But, as usual, some quick thinking producer sought to capitalize on her 15 minutes of fame and stuck her together with "if it doesn't fit, you must acquit," Johnny Cochran on a Court TV version of the Sonny and Cher show.

I guess it was supposed to be fun to watch them bicker and disagree. Just like Cher, Nancy went on to have her own show first on Court TV and now on CNN.

And she just gets more odd and more Norma Desmond with each episode.

I was telling a friend of mine how Nancy oddly links every sensational crime she covers to OJ Simpson, no matter what it is.

It's true. I mean, she can be commenting on global warming and talking to an expert on the subject, when suddenly she'll blurt out in her straight-out-of-a Tennessee Williams-play southern accent,

"And where WAS OJ Simpson when global warming started?" (as she looks intently into the camera) "Can you answer me that, sir?"

The expert looks confused, and begins to answer:

"What? I'm not sure I understand..." Nancy cuts him off, and rudely says:

"Yes, it's obvious you don't understand, sir. OJ Simpson is still free to cause global warming, while the Goldman family suffers." She rolls her eyes.

Since OJ, she's slowly morphed into Norma Desmond, but I must say, I find the comedy great. Nancy seems like she is a warm person outside of her work on camera, but she just gets weirder and weirder on television.

She's like a drunk you just can't reason with, because she's passed her limit of Tequila shots after the first 'happy hour.' She'll argue for hours, proving that you are in collusion with OJ, until you just say, "Okay Nancy, time to go to bed," and sort of drop her onto her bed.

I'm serious. I think I'm not far off on my assessment. Have you seen her hair, lately?

It looks as if some scared PA goes into her dressing room 30 seconds before showtime, sees that she is passed out, with Smirnoff bottles strewn across the floor, and the walls papered with OJ clippings, jerks her up, slaps her face and says, "Come on Nancy...time for the show."

And she stumbles onto the set, just in time to say, "Good evening, I'm Nancy Grace."

Her latest comedy skit is the best. Okay, some poor waif in Florida loses her son right from under her nose, literally.

She claims the kid was kidnapped through a 10 inch slit in the window screen of the boy's room, but she seems a bit odd, and Nancy spares no time in conjuring up the image of OJ and releasing her drunken fury on this woman.

Hey, I agree with her on this one. I think the mother of this child had something to do with his disappearance, but Amazing Grace likes to be judge, jury and--in some cases--executioner, before the crime is even solved!

So, after Grace pummels this woman, on camera, the woman commits suicide. Geeze. Look, it's not Nancy Grace's fault that some unstable woman offs herself, but it looks like this woman was on the edge anyway.

Maybe Norma Desmond's drunken tirade helped to push her a little closer to that edge. Who knows?

I do know that this show is trippy, period. Three times, last week, I turned to her show, only to hear her mention OJ Simpson's name. No joke. And she's incredulous over John Mark Karr, which leads to some great interactions between Grace and JMK's attorney.

Whatever credibility Nancy Grace may have had as a lawyer, it's sure gone now. But seriously, if you want to have some fun and cop a buzz at the same time, play the "Nancy Grace Drinking Game," with you and a few of your friends.

Every time she mentions, OJ, the Goldman family or Scott Petersen, in the course of one show, take a shot of your favorite libation.

By the end of the show, you'll be as drunk as Norma Desmond seems to be. Maybe it's the lights from the camera that turn her into Norma. I don't know.

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