"Attend me, you wench"

No,

This is not what I say to Susan when I want a little "somethin' somethin," although I have now threatened that it is what I will say in the future.

If you could see the look on Susan's face when I said that. Well, let's just say I was sufficiently frightened. ha.

For part of my birthday gift, Susan took me to "Medieval Times," in nearby Duluth, GA. It was a blast, really.

Part of my fascination with this franchise is the fact that it IS a franchise. I think they have them all over the U.S., and the part of me that really loves cheesy things like this was just itching to go. At the same time, I had heard that the performers were very good, given their limitations and the audience.

I really wanted to find out whether the serving wenches, king, queen, knights, etc., spoke with a southern accent, not unlike when I went to Helen, GA--the southern version of a Bavarian city--and the waitress at the German restaurant, clad in lederhosen, said with her nasally southern twang, "Ya'll want some Schnitzel?" I kid you not.

Hitler's moustache would have twirled, had he heard her.

My smile was huge as we were in line waiting to go in, and they had two "heralds" actually playing the long trumpets, inviting us to the kingdom of "King Alfonzo," or "Fonzie" as I affectionately

nicknamed him.

From the moment we stepped into the huge waiting area, I knew this was going to be great on many levels.

First off, they put paper crowns on our heads, not unlike the one's at Burger King, with our knight's colors, then we were whisked away to have a picture taken with "The Queen." Of course, I walked toward a very effeminate young man, but Susan steered me to the real, ah-hem, queen!

Does it get any better than this?

Oh, yeah it does.

The waiting area, with "Ye Olde Tavern" up-front, with ever so Medieval "Fat Tuesday" daiquiri and margarita-making machines.

That's right. I do remember reading about these machines in a book about Henry VIII. I believe Anne Boelyn requested them.

Seriously, the fireplace is fantastic. I'd love to have a home and install such a huge fireplace. It was rather cozy, and after the bar wench loaded my daiquiri with a lot of Rum, and I carted it away in my super cool "Medieval Times" plastic cup that LIGHTS UP ON THE BOTTOM (whoo hoo!), I was almost drunk by the time we were called into the "arena."

Oh yeah, the gift shop wench tried to entice us into the dungeon--eyebrow raised--and we were game, until she told us it would cost another 2 dollars.

The arena itself was great, but what really spoiled the "Medieval mood" for me had to be the hocking of the "royal glow-in-the-dark swords," etc. I mean, this is schlocky to begin with, but I highly doubt that historians will ever uncover King Henry's "glow-in-the-dark dagger" anytime soon.

The coolest part, actually, apart from the knights in mortal combat, was when the Royal Falconer came center stage and this gorgeous falcon was let loose on the crowd. It's trained to fly the length of the whole arena, and it was a magnificent sight to behold. It really was.

Thank God it didn't rain "royal poop" while the falcon made it's way around the arena.

Our serving wench, Jasmine, was par excellent! I'd say, if you just want to go to have a good time, and not take things so seriously, it is a blast.

My Birthday...

I was completely satisfied with my experience at Medieval Times, even when the "mysterious oracle" sounded like a cross between Barry White and Ork from "Mork and Mindy,"but then I was waiting and gearing up for my free birthday meal from a local Italian restaurant.

What made my day even more special was the fact that a new friend was able to join us for my birthday dinner.

She gave me the coolest card with the following quote from Emerson, as she knew it was exactly what I needed to hear right now. She also picked up the tab!! That was very sweet, period.

I thought I would share it with those who have been faithful readers, even when I lag behind on updated posts, as it's one of the best Birthday cards I've received in years. It's a keeper, along with the person who gave the card.

"Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense."

I needed to read this, as I had been very hurt (and I am sure I hurt that person too) by someone I foolishly considered a true friend, and even when I tried to admit my own shortcomings and blunders, this person rubbed my nose in things further. The bad part is, this type of behavior had happened previously with this same person, and I really thought she had changed. Sadly, she has not. What she thinks is a "change" is merely the same neurotic behavior repeated again.

It hurt to feel duped, yet again, and to be cast off so easily, for no real reason other than I spoke up and said, "why did you make this comment? It really hurt my feelings." From there, it just went downhill. Nasty barbs sent back and forth. Some assertions I didn't even understand, really. After reading a little about Narcissistic behavior characteristics, I realize that I am the ultimate target for a Narcissist. It stands to reason that I would be attracted to that type of person, since my own mother has many Narcissist traits.

I'm certainly not saying I don't have my own issues and shortcomings. I am the first one to admit to my "blunders" and "absurdities," but I really thought this friendship was a true friendship.That's where I went wrong. Past behavior is always an indication of future behavior, unless someone has been truly willing to do the painful work needed to make themselves whole.

It was made very evident that this person does not wish to change, and is not interested in getting help anytime soon. On my part, this sort of incident has happened before with this person, and I only have myself to blame for allowing it to happen again.

At any rate, this new friend totally understood my dilemma and hurt. The quote by Emerson is one that I will hang on my mirror so I can read it every day.

Susan and I ended up going back to this new friend's place, after we ate, and we had the best time making fun of Nancy Grace!!! What a great way to spend a birthday!!!

Some doors close and others open. I'll try not to be encumbered by my own nonsense, but isn't it all about ME anyway?

Heh!