Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Harry Potter and the Ignorant Shrew

I might be the very first person to break this news story.

There's one more installment to the Potter series:

Harry Potter and the Ignorant Shrew.

In this installment, Harry encounters one of the most frightening, yet comical creatures yet.

The bored Conservative Christian housefrau!!!

Read this:


Now, I truly don't see what the big deal is. My niece has thoroughly enjoyed the Potter series. She's now 13, and let me just tell you, it didn't really have any long lasting effects.

Sure, she went through a phase where she turned a few neighborhood kids into frogs, but these were kids that nobody liked anyway, including their parents. What's the big deal? Kids will be kids.

And the levitation? Well, she stopped levitating about two years ago. Harder for her, though, was to stop playing Quidditch. After a few visits from Dobbins Air Station, she realized that it wasn't cool to interfere with Government airspace.

Miranda, my niece, is a very bright girl. She makes excellent marks in school, is in the gifted program, and after being allowed taking the SAT, last year, she scored a 1200. Her reading comprehension is very high, also.

She's pretty adept at knowing what is fiction and what is non-fiction, as most intelligent kids are, also. It's busy-body women like the one bringing this stupid case to fruition that actually threaten the fabric of free speech.

Just as the attorney for Gwinnett County said, this morning, if the school system started removing books from the library shelves, based on parents' personal beliefs, then there would be no books on the shelves at all.

I listened to Ms. Mallory's reasoning as to why she believes these books should be taken off of the shelves. She claims that it's making kids want to become witches, and that the books switch what is really evil, into something that is good.

Yeah, maybe it makes kids want to be witches like Samantha Stevens in Bewitched. Honestly, I cannot believe that with all of the serious issues that face the children in our country, this woman is so worried that some kid is going to be hiding a cauldron in their closet, along with an AK 47, after reading a Harry Potter novel.

I can tell you that reading the books made my niece interested in reading in general, and that she's not worshipping Satan, unless you consider Napoleon Dynamite to be Satan.

If your kid believes he/she can put on a black cape and make him/herself invisible, or if he/she believes they can fly on a broom, maybe therapy is in order, or there's more going on with your kid than reading Harry Potter books.

Just the other day, Miranda said she was seriously considering colleges for which she may want to attend. She's not into drugs (knock wood), has very good friends, and is a normal, typical teen.

She asked for my help because she wasn't sure where Hogwarts College was located, but she's sure she can get a scholarship there.

I believe she can, and she and her friends are calling on the name of Harry Potter, a fictional character, and asking the Ouji board for an answer as we speak.

1 comment:

Suzer said...

Mmmmm -- I think I saw Miranda using a Sneakoscope the other day. Better keep an eye on her! ;)